The Importance of Listening
Course Lecture and Selected Online Readings
by Jeffrey Bingham Mead
INTRODUCTION
Communicating by using words is unique to humans. We’ve learned that our speaking abilities enables us to learn and to benefit from others around us. We see this all the time in our personal and public speaking situations. In those same situations each of us has a variety of ways to share our ideas and get our messages across. You can clear up misunderstandings quickly, use nonverbal cues, provide addition information by answering questions, use pauses, emphasis on certain words and ideas, and use your tone of voice to stress certain things.
Do you want your speaking skills to be effective? Of course you do! That means a second communication skill is required: listening.
In personal and professional settings we cannot achieve our goals unless we as individuals and our audiences do not have effective listening skills. No matter how well the content of your presentations is or your delivery you cannot succeed unless you know how to listen and use those skills. Did you know that research has shown that nearly 60% of all communication problems in the business world are caused by poor listening? That’s very costly, so let’s learn about good listening skills so that our personal and public speaking skills can improve! Here we go!
Here is the text on this web source on listening skills:
Listening Skills
You probably spend more time using your listening skills than any other kind of skill. Like other skills, listening takes practice. What does it mean to really listen?
Real listening is an active process that has three basic steps.
1 Hearing. Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.
2 Understanding. The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand
it in your own way. Let's go back to that report on zebras. When you hear that no two are alike, think
about what that might mean. You might think, "Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different
for each zebra."
3 Judging. After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes
sense. Do you believe what you have heard? You might think, "How could the stripes to be different for
every zebra? But then again, the fingerprints are different for every person. I think this seems
believable."
Tips for being a good listener
1 Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.
2 Make sure your mind is focused, too. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker's words.
3 Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are.
4 Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak! You can't really listen if you are busy thinking about what you want say next.
5 Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to remember is..."
6 Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. For example, you might say, "When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?"
7 Give feedback. Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really listening. Remember, you listen with your face as well as your ears!
Thinking fast
Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.
Active Listening: Hear What People are Really Saying.
It is obvious to say that if you have poor interpersonal communications skills (which include active listening), your productivity will suffer simply because you do not have the tools needed to influence, persuade and negotiate – all necessary for workplace success. Lines of communications must be open between people who rely on one another to get work done.
Considering this, you must be able to listen attentively if you are to perform to expectations, avoid conflicts and misunderstandings, and to succeed - in any arena. Following are a few short tips to help you enhance your communications skills and to ensure you are an active listener:
1. Start by Understanding Your Own Communication Style
Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness. Understanding your personal style of communicating will go a long way toward helping you to create good and lasting impressions on others. By becoming more aware of how others perceive you, you can adapt more readily to their styles of communicating. This does not mean you have to be a chameleon, changing with every personality you meet. Instead, you can make another person more comfortable with you by selecting and emphasizing certain behaviors that fit within your personality and resonate with another. In doing this, you will prepare yourself to become an active listener.
2. Be An Active Listener
People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (WPM), but they can listen intelligently at up to 300 words per minute. Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other things while listening to someone. The cure for this is active listening - which involves listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc.
If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say it - this will reinforce their message and help you control mind drift.
3. Use Nonverbal Communication
Use nonverbal behaviors to raise the channel of interpersonal communication. Nonverbal communication is facial expressions like smiles, gestures, eye contact, and even your posture. This shows the person you are communicating with that you are indeed listening actively and will prompt further communications while keeping costly, time-consuming misunderstandings at a minimum.
4. Give Feedback
Remember that what someone says and what we hear can be amazingly different! Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. Repeat back or summarize to ensure that you understand. Restate what you think you heard and ask, "Have I understood you correctly?" If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so, and ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX; is that what you meant?"
Feedback is a verbal communications means used to clearly demonstrate you are actively listening and to confirm the communications between you and others. Obviously, this serves to further ensure the communications are understood and is a great tool to use to verify everything you heard while actively listening.
See you in class!
Jeffrey Bingham Mead
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